Why do you want to meditate?
Posted on October 8th by Steven Sashen
Is it for personal growth?
Stress-relief?
Spiritual reasons?
Improved performance or creativity?
Or something else…
In my 30 years as a “meditation failure” I had lots of reasons to meditate. And I found that some of my reasons were simply unreasonable — meditation wouldn’t give me what I wanted. Some of my other reasons actually got in the way of being able to meditate at all.
And some of my reasons were unnecessary — I had already attained the goal I wanted, but I hadn’t even noticed.
What are your reasons for meditating?
Until you know where you’re starting, it’s hard to plan the trip to your destination.
Tags: meditation // 40 Comments »
I am meditating for personal growth, creativity and stress relief. I am going for the epelepsy surgery, plus going to college and I am trying to clam down from all of this. Can you helo me?
Hi Liz,
Thank you for your honest and revealing question. Not everyone is as willing to share what brings them to meditating.
So let’s see if I got it: your only reasons are: personal growth, creativity, stress-relief and dealing with health issues and college… that’s all? Not levitation and picking tomorrows lottery numbers?
Kidding aside, at different times in my life, I had every one of those reasons for meditating. In fact, you just reminded me that I got really serious about meditation after being diagnosed with complex migraines (which some think is related to epilepsy), and of how I would meditate before each Organic Chemistry class, hoping that would make it easier… I got an A.
But let’s be frank, shall we? Anyone who promises that they can help you attain any specific “inner” goal is either naive, delusional, or simply trying to get money from you. Part of why I stopped meditating after 30 years was that I saw no evidence of the promised results (in either myself, my meditating friends, or the teachers I knew).
There’s nothing more that I would like than to say, YES, the I AM Course WILL DO all of those things. But that wouldn’t be honest.
I can tell you is that hundreds of people have sent testimonials about using the Instant Advanced Meditation techniques for all of the reasons you gave. Many of whom had tried other meditation techniques for years without success.
But more important than what ANYONE says is your own direct, personal experience.
That’s why I try to make it easy and risk-free for people to try the I AM Course. That way you can do what the Buddha ostensibly said as his last teaching: Don’t believe any teaching because it’s written in a holy book or taught by respected masters, but put the teaching to a test and be a light unto yourself.
There seems to be a continual moving away from the truth I recognize I am into thought and activities. Those things become most interesting and before long I am in those things and have left my truth…so when situations arise which need a response from me I fall back into my old patterns rather than address them fresh and new. I’m back identified with that seperate sence of self.
I enjoyed my trial session last evening. I believe I want to meditate in order to relax. (stress relief) Spiritual growth, and the ability to experience some of the things I heard the people in your class describe.
I would also like to be more creative. I guess if it’s possible, just feel peaceful as often as possible. Thanks. Sandra 11-4-09
Will I be hearing from you soon? Will your answer appear in this space?
Hi Sandra,
Well, my *plan* was to collect some more responses and post a video that addressed the top reasons people brought up.
But, since you asked …
I’ve found that relaxation/stress-relief is the simplest thing to attain… but not by the methods that I had been taught or was practicing for the 30 years I was doing “traditional” meditation practice.
The way to have experiences like those you heard in the class is simple: explore the different Instant Advanced Meditation techniques. Out of the 10 different practices, most people find there are 4-5 that they really resonate with (and they often find that when they come back later to the practices they didn’t originally “click with,” those practices become favorites
)
“Spiritual growth” is a BIG topic… one that I’ll tackle on a different post (and something we look at from a REALLY unusual perspective in the I AM Course)
Thank you for giving me some ideas. I’ll keep practicing the two Advanced Meditation Techniques you included in the Welcome Package
until my very own I AM Course arrives.
Sincerely,
Sandra
Sandra, you can log into the online course at http://www.iamcourse.com and hear the rest of the CD set, and listen to the Chit Chat calls, and much more…
I meditate to get closer to the I AM. I have been meditating for years now and have become a different peson…not angry, separate, nervous or scared. I love meditating and I have been brought to see things not of this world. I recomment it to everyone. I am a recovering Alcoholic and haven’t had a drink in 5-1/2 years and I have changed so much in that time that I am, for the first time in my life, someone I like to live with…someone I love.
I meditate to get enlightened. I try to keep my attention on the “I” and that is it. I feel it is a paradox because in several places in different spiritual texts its mentioned that there cannot be a causal relationship between meditation and enlightenment and the same texts advise different meditations.
Also it is stated in some scriptures that “Knowledge comes to those, that IT chooses” IT being the Self.
Now I do not know what practice you are going to suggest but whatever its going to be, needs me to practice it. Whether its trying to find out Who is the one practicing and all that stuff.
My question is simple do you have anything by which I will gain the ultimate knowledge. If so, can there be a causal relationship between what I will be doing and what I am to achieve.
Please do not tell me that what I want is already present and I dont see it. This I know intellectually, but it does not change anything. Whether its you or any master the minute you say that you should meditate, there is already the seeker and the sought.
Neville,
Thanks for your response.
So you know, I would never suggest a practice to become “enlightened”… for a LOT of reasons (not the least of which being the various contradictions that you mention you’ve discovered as well).
Regarding “ultimate knowledge”… I can’t comment on that either unless you’re able to define that more specifically and less poetically.
I’d never say anything about “what you want is already present” because, again, the people who use language like that are, in my opinion, being linguistically (and, often, intellectually) lazy, or simply using poetry in lieu of a useful description of the meditative phenomenon.
I claim no title of “master,” nor do I suggest a reason to meditate, especially a reason that relates to the attainment of some state in the future that, for all we know, is nothing but mythology.
All I claim is that the practices I teach can produce dramatic and rapid changes in the experience of the relationship between the perceiver, that which is perceived, and the connection between those (seemingly) disparate concepts. And this change is accompanied by experiences of relaxation, insight, clarity, peacefulness, etc.
I have no philosophy that I teach, nor do the I AM Techniques have any philosophy as their foundation or goal.
When I say “ultimate Knowledge” I mean knowledge of the self and I do not know how you can take that to be poetic. I cannot think of any more precise words to explain this. I am talking about the knowledge gaining which there is no more striving for anything. The complete knowledge of oneself puts an end to striving because one comes to know what truly one is.
Also by Master I did not give you any title. When you are teaching something you are the master because you have gained mastery over the thing you are teaching and that is why you are teaching it in the first place. Secondly only if you are the master and I am the disciple, any knowledge can be transmitted, as this is a sacred relationship and I approach whatever you are teaching with respect (I do not mean a blind faith)
This whole conversation started because you yourself have asked in your email, Why I want to meditate.
I do not find enlightenment or self knowledge to be an unrealistic goal simply because so many persons have attained that “State” and talked about it and have said that anybody can attain it. The underlying fact which always prompts me to strive for this state is the total freedom from striving whether for peace or any other state.
So all said and done, you can place me in the category you feel correct and send me the technique which best fits my personality.
“Ultimate knowledge” is poetic until the person using the phrase defines it. There are many people who use many definitions for that phrase and, more, there are people who use it who’ve never actually taken the time to define it.
. Regarding the various I AM techniques, it’s not I who can determine which one is appropriate for another human being at any given time in their life… it’s that once you understand the techniques, you (as you are your best teacher) will know experientially that there is at least one technique that meets your particular situation.
FWIW, I haven’t placed you in any category, nor would I ever claim to be able to assess something as complex and ephemeral as a personality
Well, as per your email to me you said –
Go to http://www.advancedmeditation.com/reasons/
and let me know your reasons… and, more importantly,
I’ll let you know which category yours fall into, and
what might be the best way to reach your goals.
I think by now you know what I am after and is there any meditation to reach my goal?
Hi Neville,
While I understand that it could seem that there should be a simple Yes or No answer to your question, that’s not the case. I can assure you that anyone who casually answers that question with either Yes *or* No, especially with the nominal amount of information about you that comes from a few blog comments is, either naively or maliciously, merely trying to take your money by catering to your stated desires.
I look forward to scheduling a teleclass where we could have more time to dive into your question and give both you and the question the deserved attention… or, feel free to take advantage of the fact that I put my phone number on all my emails and invite people to call me.
Steven,
We’ve known each other a long time, and shared a lot of experiences, conversations, and stories. After everything that I’ve wondered about myself, or told myself or other people about myself, I’ve finally arrived at a place where I’m simply afraid I don’t know anything about anything – and I know we’re all supposed to be mighty happy to have that realization, but what all the lovely little new age/self help/pop psych books don’t tell you is that it is a horror. I don’t trust my own thoughts, feelings, or beliefs. You seem like a reasonably calm person who laughs a lot, and I trust you – and maybe I shouldn’t, because therein lies the Jim Jones/Chuck Manson trap – but consider this a spiritual 911 call.
How do I stop the fear?
Thanks, and Happy New Year (Roman Calendar),
Erik
Hi Erik,
What I’ve noticed is that , like all sensations, experiences, feelings, and thoughts, fear is not something that can be beaten into submission. It arises when it arises. It changes when it changes. It passes away when it passes away.
What we *can* do is understand our experince, and through that education, our experience may change dramatically. And the understanding/education is relatively simple. For example (and this is just an example, as to fully explore this — which we do in the I AM Course — would take pages and pages of writing and a few hours to dive into): We talk of states of mind (or body, when we consider sensations) as if they’re constant. And talking of them that way (e.g. “I’ve been depressed,” “I’m angry”) overlooks what we can easily notice: Either the phenomenon appears and then disappears and then something similar re-appears (which we think of as “the same thing continuing”), or our attention moves to it and then away and then back to it (and when our attention is somewhere else, the original experience is, essentially, non-existent).
Reminding ourselves and noticing the moment-to-moment changes — not as a concept, but actually watching our mind, for example, move towards and away and how we say “it’s still there” even though that’s not an accurate description of our experience — might shift our experience of the phenomenon quite naturally.
Then there’s another layer of understanding which involves noticing that “fear” is not a *thing*, but the effect of a particular action… namely, of trying to avoid something that isn’t yet occurring. What we call fear are the side-effects of that action. Sometimes it’s useful (if we hear the tiger outside our tent), other times it’s fallacious (if we’re imagining hearing the tiger outside our tent when we’re comfortably in a hotel room). Which brings me to the next point…
FWIW, when pop-psych/new age/”spiritual” teachers talk about “not knowing”, they’re referring to something VERY different than what you’re describing.
Oh, and finally, there’s no need to trust me or not trust me… all I have to offer are some thought experiments and pointers to your own experience. I have no philosophy to offer, no goal that I set as a carrot on a stick. I lived for goals and carrots for 30+ years and they didn’t seem to help me or any of the people I’d see, over and over again, at the various workshops, retreats and classes.
With IAM, meditating has never been so easy,satisfying and rewarding ….. thanks
Hai Steven!
I am glad that i found your blog on the internet.
I can see, that you are very intelligent man and with a lot of experience from »working on yourself« or meditation or »self improvement«…..So before I start, I let you know that I give up and I don¨t want to challenge you in any way, because I was there,too and today I just feel it is better to be silent with the topic like this…..The more i read this »spiritual« topics the more I realize , how we make it dirty and confusing at the end.
Still, I am not sure, if all this »chit chat« about meditation will in any way help people, becuse after all, you bring in a lot of doubt and criticsm….. It ¨s so easy for us-readers to start thinking: » Oh, ok,I don¨t need to give any effort, what for?. Look at this guy Steven, who laughs and enjoy life ….«
You say that after 20 plus years meditating , sitting in Vipassana, you came to the conclusion-that it was useless, that brought no change in you and no change in friends that you know and that it is possible to get instant »relaxation or peace » with this new program which you offer today….
We both know, that meditation with a purpose is a danger trap and still you ask us why we meditate and on the other hand you tell us, that striving in meditation leads nowhere!
I mean, of course most of people start doing this work to get more centered, to get more clarity and i dont see any problem to sit down and concentrate your mind on the breath for 10 minuts before going outside or to work….At least, that is why i do that, because i notice the change in my system, my additude towards people….. And of course, it goes away, too and my job is to come back again and again……
Have you considered, that all your past work and effort helped you to get to the point where you are now.? That the purpose of discipline and effort is to make or open the place for relaxation, which happens effortlesly. And as in archery as in other activity, there must be some struggle and confusion at the start……
Maybe i sound like I want to suffer in discipline and improving myself, but that is not the point. I just feel distant to » Instant meditation that helps in seconds«, which again is only available if you pay some money….
I would like to finish with the only question I have for you: What is the real reason that you shifted your additude from one extreme ( being with the teachers, practice) to the other extreme (anti-guru additude, no effort at all.) And why not to flow in betveen?
Thank you, regards from Slovenia
Vikas
Hi Vikas,
Great questions and comments, thanks.
First, I agree with you regarding effort: If you didn’t believe that ANYTHING happening in your life was the indication of a problem, then, clearly, it wouldn’t occur to you to do anything — including meditation – as a “solution.” That said, you may find the physiological and psychological changes you described as “useful,” or “enjoyable” or “interesting,” which would be fine reasons.
Second, I don’t agree that “meditation with a purpose is a danger trap.” It depends on your purpose and it depends on whether the meditation technique in question can actually deliver on the promises made by the teachers. If your purpose is to get some attainment that meditation does not provide, then the “trap” is open. If your purpose is, again, the kinds of experiences you described — “change in my system, my attitude…” — AND the technique reliably and consistently delivers those benefits, then that purpose is not a big deal.
Discipline and effort are only one way to “open the space” for relaxation… and, in my experience, they are the slower and more difficult route.
And when I say “my experience,” I’m also referring to the reports of hundreds of people who’ve tried the I AM Techniques who have described states of relaxation, openness, and more, without the need for discipline and effort… including people with no experience meditating previously.
Your last question, for what it’s worth, is making an assumption that I don’t agree with… I don’t have a problem/issue with teachers or practice. IF the teachers and practice actually deliver the promised results. And that’s what I have an issue with: promises that cannot be kept and goals that cannot be attained.
Nor do I believe in “no effort at all”… since, clearly, it takes some time and effort to learn anything new. I’m about efficiency, reliability, and consistency and using the LEAST amount of effort necessary (and what you can find is that “effort” isn’t a good word to use when you can switch from stress to peace with a subtle internal shift that only takes moments).
-Steven
Steven;
I checked the Instant meditation video and I am getting lots of good feelings about it. it seems like a good discovery from you and the result from a long process from your side.
I am not sure whar you mean with 2 paths.the purification and one of recognition. My personal experience is, that sitiing or Vipassana meditation and simply being with the moment is the path of recognition and has nothing to do with purification, because there is nobody to purify or repair (fix) anything….it is different with mantras or trying to concentrate or doing asanas, rituals…..there I agree, it is more like improving yourself, but I am not sure if I understand your path of recogniton…I also read some lines from one of your participants in group work and she said, that before “your” technique she tried to open to pain and welcome it and be with the pain, with the tension on her face….And now she reports that the process is different….. With the path of recognition, do you mean welcoming everything that comes during our lifetime and not to identify with it? to let go in a moment? To explore deeper in our emotions without any attachments? Well, it sounds beautiful but you know, when dark side comes, it is so difficult to let go even if you know HOW to surrender,I think sometimes suffering just cant be avoided…..
But, thank you so much, feel happy to meet you on the internet, to share your thoughts about this important topic….. regards from Europe Vikas
Hi Vikas,
The easiest way I can describe the differences between the 2 “paths” is that the “purification” techniques have you attending to the OBJECTS of attention and the “recognition” techniques direct you to the PROCESS of attention/perception. Those other states you described — welcoming, lessening identification, letting go, etc. — are descriptions of the experiences people often have by doing these practices but I don’t use them as verbs to describe what you DO in the practice. Regarding “dark side”… or any “side” for that matter… I don’t have a frame of reference for what that means. We don’t have “sides”, whether dark or light.
Why I meditate:
It feels good.
I imagine that I am clearer and more relaxed and effective when I feel the way I do when I meditate.
~ Stacy
Steven,
I am interested in meditation to alleviate stress, anxiety, and depression in my life, which have all come as the result of a very traumatic life experience last year. Any suggestions going forward? Thanks…
RM
Hi Steven,
I’m meditating primarily to be more present as I move through the world. Secondarily, to calm my mind of worries and fears, and to get a sense of being connected with God, spirit, the divine, whatever anyone calls it. (And, of course, to become fabulously wealthy and eternally youthful.) Your description, “subtle internal shift,” appeals to me.
My reasons for meditation are simple ones. I am eager for enlightenment like Neville, but I simply enjoy basking in the Love of and for the One Spirit. I see the opportunity to deepen this Love, but I am slightly skeptical that your I AM technique will make any real difference. I have listened to many teachers tell me they have this wonderful technique that makes it all much better, but no one yet has. Can your technique increase the pure bliss I get from meditation?
Hi Steven,
Can’t we simply aim at “the whole package” (including personal growth, stress-relief, creativity, spiritual growth, God realization)?
Two decades ago I joined a meditation group. My initial motive was my personal growth. When I joined the group I didn’t know that it was a spiritual community which demanded a strict rules and regulations for the sake of my spiritual growth and God realization. But, at that time it made sense to me, so, I accepted the guidance of my Indian Guru, shifted my primary goal to “the more important” God–realization and staid as a “Sanyasin” for two decades. The essence of his teachings was the heart-aspiration towards the Highest. According to his teachings mindfulness and awareness were less important. However, very often I would find this quite contradictory to my experience and even more contradictory with the many books by many Gurus and other spiritual guides (I don’t mean to judge with this statement, but just to convey the frequent feeling of confusion on this issue). Several months ago I was in a huge shock with the realization that my Guru didn’t actually act in accordance with his teachings. After 19 years, I left the spiritual community and I am still trying to set my goals.
If I cannot choose the “whole package” I would choose the training of my mindfulness, awareness, concentration – simply because these are my weak features.
Best wishes,
Gordana Traykovska
I see that I’ve been looking for a panacea for most of my life.
I have felt suffering on and off (more on) since around the age of 10.
A feeling that this world and life couldn’t be all there is. (or maybe the way people live it- getting a house, kids, going shopping, traveling, watching tv, meeting friends in the hamptons, going to work everyday). It felt that the amount of good and satisfying times in life definitely were outweighed by the times of feeling totally alone, sad, confused and underwhelmed.
I guess for all this time I’ve been in doubt about living in general. it may sound suicidal, but I don’t totally mean it in that way. I mean it pretty scientifically.
If someone did an experiment, tried all different variables and didn’t come up with any solution, they may abandon the experiment eventually.
I’d like to see life with that childlike wonder everyday. even a train passing by is amazing. Where I don’t need to be successful or pretty- none of that matters, just each moment is fun and interesting. i’m no longer self-conscious. this is what I want.
I want to meditate to lead a stress free life. I never have time for myself because my mind is always talking to me. It is a negative chain of thoughts about relationships, expectations, career path, relocation, parents, parents in law.
Off late I have been on a full time sabbatical from work to sit back and figure out my path in life. I believe that when everything is brought to a hold, will my spiritual growth will start. I also believe that from my spiritual success will emerge my true passion in life and life thenceforth would be beautiful.
I get more inclined towards my negative energy. I have not known the positive side. I carry baggage of ideal state of being which really stresses me. Perfect home, perfect relationships with parents, parents in law (important when you come from India) and I ignore and trample upon the goodness and the beauty of today. I live with a lovely human being (my partner) but my state of mind does not let me enjoy that goodness.
A pronounced sense of judgment, worry, anxiety, does not let me enjoy my life. I am quite tired of living on the brink.
From a multitude of spiritual retreats to coaching sessions have not altered my state.
I want to feel calm and one with myself.
Hi Steven!
I have already meditated for 3 years now. My goal with my meditation spiritual practice is to gain insights into the so called I.
I would likte to get enlightened, peaceful and feel free and open. My meditation before have been vipassana and breathing meditation.
What kind of meditation do you suggest?
**Carina**
I wish to meditate to quieten the many thoughts, arguments, plans that constantly take place in my head. Only when I quieten them can I concentrate on my body and what is within
Hello, Steven,
For me meditation has always been a part of our family. Daily my Mother and Grand mother spent 2 hrs for that … I spend around 30 min max. lately my interest has drastically increased because -
1) i have been doing it and seen family doing it
2) i am going through a lot turmoil in my life…..
Meditation with Sawan Kirpal Ruhani Mission has given me a lot of hope and positivity to keep living ….
Now i want to really work towards finding my inner self and see a new world , which , i have already started ….
Hello!
I wish to do advance meditation because somehow i feel there is something that i need to know. i have been meditating from almost ten years, so many times not even knowing why, but it just seems right. There seems to be a calling, some continuous search is there in me….at times i feel i want to experience how everything is in me and i am a part of everything, want to experience the universal love and want to stay in it………know what i am meant to do and do that. There are times when i feel i am going totally mad and feel like never meditating but then then somehow i start doing it again. dont know exactly but a constant yearning is there to be connected to god, nature, the superpower, whatever it can be called.
I started meditating over thirty years ago with TM. I found it a useful way to gain deep rest and recover from stress. Then I started experimenting with other techniques, mostly Vipassana and other Buddhist derived practices. I found them less relaxing and more time consuming to notice any effects from. They seem to be most appropriate to a monastic or retreat setting. The last time I tried Goenka’s body scan technique after a retreat all of my sensations seemed tinged with a subtle sense of unpleasantness. This had never happened before and I decided Goenka’s technique was not for me. I also find the philosophical basis of Buddhism problematic with their emphasis on no self and the elimination of suffering as opposed to producing positive flourishing for the self and others. These days I like to meditate in nature with eyes open and merge with my sensory environment. When meditating at home I often just sit with eyes closed and do some TM for a while and then sit doing nothing at all, just letting whatever happens come up. I’m not really sure why I do this, but it seems about as interesting as anything else. Any suggestions?
Suggestions about what? I’m not sure what you said that sounds problematic, or in need of a suggestion.
Presently, I’ve been meditating most days–vipassana. I meditate in the hope that my blood pressure can come down to a consistenly normal level. I have high blood pressue and take meds for it.
Hi,
Steven Sashen I want to performing meditation in other to improve my performances and spiritual reasoning.
Hi Steven,
I need meditation basically for reducing stress, various anxieties but first of all for personal spiritual growth and enlightenment. Now i’ve been meditating according to shamata – vipassana tradition, but I want to enter into deeper and more advanced levels of meditation.
All the best for you.
Hi Steven!!! Thanks for your useful information! I want to meditate mainly for stress relief. I want to have my mind as clear as possible. I felt really empathized when I listened to all that you say in the video. I really like the idea of learning “I AM course” but the problem is that I have no money, anyway all you can tell me in order to learn will be quite useful. THANKS FOR HELPING ALL OF US!
I have some bad habits. These manifest as thought patterns. These thought patterns cause me pain and misery. The only reason these thought patterns are there is because I have made a habit out of them. How these habits started I do not know. I also know that everything you believe in, everything you are as a person, every desire you have, every fear you have is nothing but a conditioned response. These are responses conditioned by lots and lots of practice (perhaps unconsciously). If lots of practice is what caused these misery causing thought patterns, then lots of practice is what is needed to break them. “Doing nothing” is not an option. You may think you are doing nothing, but in reality, your mind is always running these patterns. Again and Again and Again. And each time it runs these patterns, the habit gets stronger. The only way to break these patterns is
1. Be aware of them
2. Be aware how they cause you misery
3. And do not consciously add to these thought patterns
Miraculously (I actually do not think it is a miracle at all), after a while you notice that your old thought patterns are broken and you are feeling much less miserable. What I do in meditation is nothing but points 1.,2., and 3. exclusively. I do them during my workday, my workout too, but doing this exclusively is much more potent. Doing 1.,2.3, exclusive to all other actions is what I call meditation