What are your problems with meditation techniques?
Posted on October 15th by Steven Sashen
What are the biggest challenges, or obstacles, problems or questions you have when it comes to meditation? (or with finding a way to relax, de-stress, expand awareness, etc.)
Leave a comment with your answer and, in a few days, I’ll post not only the top 3 problems/questions (I’ve asked this question to thousands of people), I’ll also post the solution and answers according to the Path of Recognition.
Tags: meditation // 41 Comments »
It is difficult to me to concenterate when I try to meditate. When I close my eyes and I try to leave my mind in blank and focus in my breathing, the melody and lyrics of songs appear in my mind. Also, I feel a need to count the numbers, maybe to count how many times I´m breathing.
At this point I find meditation of primary use on two levels:
1. Managing day to day stress
2. Keeping a helathy pace to life…not letting life get ahead of me.
I have been an inconsistent user of meditation….and want to become a more “disciplined” user….
Procrastination! I want to meditate, I have meditated (11 hours for 10 days in a row) but I seem to find every excuse for why NOW is not the time to do it. Maybe eyes open awareness meditations done throughout my day would be better for me at this point….
The first time I meditated was with TM and I was shown states of mind of such intense peace, bliss, and expanded awareness that any practise after that was always going to be a disappointment.
Thanks, everyone, for your answers. I’ll be putting together an audio or video with responses soon.
These are all familiar problems that everyone has described above, so I’m not sure if I really have anything unique or special to add. I guess what it all boils down to is that I have never had a successful “discipline” or “practice” of any kind in my life unless it was easy. The most successful and enjoyable practice I had was between, oh, about 1987 and 1990, when I had this really great yoga instructor who was the perfect balance of gentle and firm, whose approach was very straightforward and bullshit-free, and every class just felt full of love and light…..nothing I’ve ever shown up for once a week that was so beneficial has ever felt so….I have to use the same word again…..easy. What I want to know is, how do I make a practice easy on my own, without somebody holding my hand every step of the way?
Hi Erik,
You can’t *make* a practice easy. You find a practice that’s easy for you. And there are various conditions that contribute to an easy practice:
If having your hand held works, then why reject that method? Why not look for a hand holder?
All of this, though, points to a “question beneath the question” about WHY we should practice, WHAT we expect to get from doing so, and whether our practice (whether it’s meditation or basket weaving) is, in fact, a reliable way to get what we want (assuming that our goal is even attainable).
the need to meditate…. for me…. stems from the day to day stresses….,which lead to a mild form of almost helpless depression,…. which inturn results in confusion and mental cloudiness.. as to clarity of thought ……it,s insidiously cyclic,…. because the lack of mental clarity…. compounds the day to day stress….. & it all seems to feed on itself….. the only thing that has ever really worked ….to any meaningful degree… has been meditation… and to date ,for me …” IAM “is the most spiritually soothing by far.
I am enjoying the meditation a lot as i did a lot of TM in the seventies so i do find the meditations really easy to do so i do not have a problem with the meditations at this time i do get to have lots of experiences such as raised awareness exteriorisation and knowingness on a regular basis i do really enjoy the experiences i am getting as a result of the meditation prectices i do on a regular basis thanks for the opportunity to post my replies and ideas thanks
For me the biggest problem is tension.
I find there’s always some intention (for a particular outcome – even if the intention is to have no intention!).
So really letting go can be difficult. I find whenever there is an idea of doing anything the opposite is not far from my mind ( e.g. relaxation and tension or concetration and distraction).
Actually I seem to be finding the repairing and releasing receiving exercises useful with this….
I agree, Mike… the idea of having no intention is pure fiction. And any specific intention is, in essence, battling with its opposite. The I AM practices you mention, especially Repairing The Universe, are designed to meet those “battling opposites” in such a way that we can naturally and effortlessly step out of the stress caused by the battle. In fact, the reason there are 10+ I AM Practices is that some of the more common state of stress, pain, upset, disconnection, etc. are the starting points which lead to a deep meditative experience, which means no particular state of mind is an obstacle or enemy to meditation (or life, really).
My only problem with meditation is distraction. While overseas, I was able to find locals which either offered a quiet atmosphere or one of total urban hum. Now, at home, whether Summer or Winter, the sound of the A/C or heater cycling throughout the day disrupts my relaxation. I’ve turned it off only to find the discomfort of temperature change so noticeable that I’m trying to decide if I should turn it back on, which I usually do to the detriment of my practice.
“Distraction” is a fascinating issue. For two reasons:
1) Can you remember a time where you were so engrossed in work, or a book, or a TV show (or anything) that you didn’t notice what would otherwise be a distraction? Of course… everyone has.
2) Ever remember a time when you were in a really good mood and what previously was a distraction (or nuisance) didn’t bother you? Almost everyone I ask can remember one of those times, too.
Well, what does this have to do with meditation? In my experience, everything.
See, the meditation practices from what I call “the Path of Purification” aren’t that engrossing. I mean, really, how interesting is it to watch your breathing come in and out?
In fact, the whole principle behind those practices is to do whatever you can to narrow the focus of the mind (which is NOT easy)… in a way, to simulate or deliberately create a state of being engrossed (again, NOT easy).
What if, instead, the object of your attention in a meditative practice was interesting enough that it could more easily hold your attention? Clearly that would make concentrating, or focusing, much simpler.
Or what if you could easily shift into a state where ANY sensory input — sound, smell, sensation, visual image, etc. — was PART OF the practice and not something, was PART OF the object of attention? Obviously, then it couldn’t be a “distraction.”
In other words, “distraction” is never a problem… it’s a symptom of something else. And, for me, that “something else” was noticing that the Path of Purification practices didn’t fit with my life (or anyone else’s that I knew, other than my friends who were monks). And that led me to the “Path of Recognition” practices, where the objects of attention are interesting, and where anything that arises in the mind is part of the practice… that’s what allows you to do these practices — and experience meditative states — almost anywhere, any time.
hi,my main problem is when i sit down to meditate every problem of mine would come in to my mind and i just can’t stop thinking ,this problem would get worsen when i’m angry or something like that,in that case i cant do anything at all.let alone meditating
I find it difficult to relax, I find it difficult to have the urge to meditate or to have the motivation for it.
I have set high goals that NEED meditation to be done at its highest levels.
Without urge and motivation I will continue being a failure.
That is why I need correct techniques and motivation and/or urge somehow…
What I find most difficult, is quietening my mind. There is so much going on that even focussing energy on one thing seems impossible or rather unatainable. I want to be able to get to a point where I can be still and have no thought whatsover for a given time…How do I get this right?
So, we have at least 2 themes brewing: quieting the mind (a.k.a. stopping thoughts), and motivating oneself to meditate. Interesting.
What I can tell you is that both of these are highly misunderstood, at many levels.
For example, lets say you like chocolate cake (I do). Do you need motivation to eat it if it’s available (and you’re not trying to de-motivate yourself because you’re on a diet)? No, of course not. Do you need motivation to watch your favorite television show? Nope.
The issue here is that you can’t fake motivation (at least not for long and not without having to re-motivate yourself over and over with new techniques). Further, if you explore the very reason WHY you even want to motivate yourself you may find some beliefs about yourself, about meditation, about what you imagine meditation can do for you, etc. which may be… let’s see, how to say this… inaccurate. And trying to believe something inaccurate is actually de-motivating!
Similar thing with “stopping thoughts” (also known as: getting the mind to do something it doesn’t naturally want to do). The only reason we want to stop thoughts is because: a) We don’t like the ones we’re having, and; b) We think it takes getting rid of them, therefore, to find peace. Ignoring for a moment whether it’s even possible to stop thinking for an extended period of time, or even for a short time whenever we want (FWIW, meditations whose goal is stopping thoughts were developed to be used by reclusive monks), let me ask this question: What if you didn’t perceive any thought as problematic or stressful? Would you then find the need to get rid of it?
No. Why would you? If no thought were a problem, where’s the stress? Gone, that’s where. Suffice it to say, it’s MUCH easier and faster to learn how to understand and see your thoughts in a way that they don’t cause problems than it is to stop your mind from doing what it was built to do.
The point of the techniques in the Instant Advanced Meditation Course is to discover this new way of relating to the mind, which produces rapid and easy changes: from stress to peace, confusion to clarity, effort to ease. And it can be done anywhere, any time. So you don’t need to motivate yourself to go sit in a corner, because you can do the practices whenever and wherever you are.
For me, meditation in the beginning is not a problem. The problem is that after about 10+ minutes goes by and the chatter starts to ‘cripes’ in. Normally, they are either things happened prior or on the day before which later analyzing them have no prevalent to anything at all. The saboteur does its best to be there loud and clear — to STOP me from having my healing moment. (Yes, I call meditation, the healing).
To this day, I just smile if there is someone with me or laugh loudly if I am in the room by myself. Seem like that move the energy pretty quick. All the pain and suffer that the saboteur bring would get release quickly out of my space.
Whenever I sit to meditate, past memories spin in front of me and I easily get diverted. Also daily chores and stress of what I need to do in a day catches up- almost like saying “you are sitting and wasting your time- catch it”
Very recent pleasant and not so pleasant memories tend to crowd up my mental space when I try and sit.
I always keep meditation as a thing to be done when I have nothing more important to do.
I have heard alot about TM. I have no access to a training centre for TM. Is there anywhere I can get free info on how to practice TM
Hi!
I used to live mostly in a blissful and expansive state of awareness. I used to practice quite a lot, perhaps 2 or 3 hours a day. The more I practiced, the more expansive and blissful I became and easier it got; and the more I wanted to practice. However, this took me away from ‘normal’ people. I felt estranged from society. So I practiced less, drank more, got involved in dramas. Consciousness became constricted and neurotic like normal.
Less practice, more drama, reduced ability to have a successful practice of touching on that which is eternal and intrinsic to us.
Now it is difficult to get back to where I was. Normal life is unsatisfying; spiritual life is just out of reach.
My problem is inconsistent outcomes in meditation and difficulty in spiritually satisfying practice while living in the world. How to know the eternal while living in it here and now in the world?
Thanks!
Concentration is my main problem. It seems as if I just cannot get my mind still. I keep coming back to focus on crud in my mind.
My biggest difficulty is my lack of ‘presence’-I tend to live primarily inside my head! I want to live in a state of awareness and consciousness THROUGHOUT my day. I want to be able to live in the moment without wishing I was not who I am! I want to be in touch with knowing who I am and what I want. I want to live in a state of harmony with myself, others and the Universe and I wish I knew how!
my problem with meditation is that it costs too much money to learn anything that I think really will work!! I am on disability and looked into TM it is 1500.00$ cant afford that so I have been trying to find someone who is decent that can share what they know for free…because I would …..kev
Mothering guilt
Housework guilt
Un-done to-do list
Lack of privacy at home
Lack of discretionary time
Intrusive thoughts, worries
Chronic arthritis pain
(the treadmill after children are asleep used to be wonderful
meditation)
Career pressure (I love teaching, but the logistics of my part-time public-school job – 40% of full time – make teaching into a Sisyphean nightmare with almost three hundred students visiting my room each week… Still, I feel fortunate to be making five digits a year again since being bumped up from 20% / 150 students.)
Feelings of selfishness
Lastly, sorry Stephen but I cannot justify spending more than $20 on an audiobook… let me show you the shelf of books that I would like to read but have not had the time to read, and that I fall asleep trying to read…
Interruptions by my husband (like right now)
After decades of meditation(various practices) the greatest challenge is carrying the groundedness,spaciousness, equanimity into daily living beyond meditation without a conscious sense of loss.
There are times when I would rather be in meditation than in the world!
I have been succesful with meditation, but all my techniches are gradually starting to fail. Most of them have, except for meditation music. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and therefore it is very important for me for meditation to work. I am going through a very hard time. Peace Patrick
No problem, Jean… but the Instant Advanced Meditation Course isn’t a audiobook. It’s a complete home-study course, designed to fit into anyone’s schedule/lifestyle.
Hi Steven,
I practice regularly anapanasati meditation.
My problem is that as soon as I become aware of the breath I just can’t let it flow, it has to be controlled. Any attempt to avoid controlling the breath results in gasping and tension in the stomach. I usually make a conscious effort to avoid controlling the breath but it results in feelings of getting drowned due to lack of breathing.
It doesn’t matter which object of meditation I choose anyway because I have tried listening to the “inner sound”, the sound of the heart, feeling the sensations of the body but any deepening of the meditation leads to an intention to control the breath.
Perhaps this has to do with the fact that I had a terrifying experience during meditation in which I felt I was confronting a solid black wall and any attempt to continue would cause death.
After that experience meditation has become very difficult but I endure it because I usually need it to feel less stress during the day.
Perhaps, just perhaps, if you have to “endure” it, it’s more stressful than the stress-relief it gives. Or, over time, forcing yourself to endure it would lead to taking time off, to avoid the difficulty.
But here’s the simple question: why not just “control” your breath?
Who says that you shouldn’t?
And for anyone that says you shouldn’t, why should what they say be more important than your own experience and needs?
Controlling the breath need not be an obstacle to meditating, nor something to avoid.
Tanks Steven,
I have tried that once or twice without much results but you are right in that perhaps there is no reason not to control the breath.
The thing that I’m trying to figure out now, is if this anxiety is ever present or just when paying attention…
Maybe changing my diet: not so much sugar, soda drinks, caffeine, etc might be a relief but I’m so addicted to these things…
It is paradoxical that actually doing meditation releases stress for me despite having to “endure”. Now that I have meditated for a year or so, it is very easy to see the suffering that arises from leaving the mind loose.
Thanks for your reply, I will surely try what you said.
Anecdote: I have been trying to reach my Higher self and learn how my intuitive guide communicates with me. I’ve asked questions daily, and I’ve listened for answers.I do not think that I’m connecting to my Higher Self. My understanding is that one has to reach Beta or Theta cycle to hear his or her intuition. Personally, I want to be able to receive guidance and insights from my intuition to live a life that is align with my purpose in life. This is where meditation comes into place. My problems with meditation are the following: blocking out distractions, reaching deep relaxation, and expanding awareness to connect with the universe. My biggest, single most problem with meditation is finding the time to meditate. I abhor spending 15-30 minutes deluding myself into thinking that I’m truly in a meditative state when I’m not.
My biggest difficulty is achieving significant results above and beyond stress release and tranquility.
I love meditating when I sit down to do it–I think remembering to bring the same kind of awareness to day to day moments is hard for me. If I’m driving and my mind is racing along and I bring myself back to count my breaths, even for a minute or two, I feel more centered and “good”. So, I guess the hardest part is doing it throughout the day–bringing that sense of awareness to more and more minutes of my life.
Hi There
Many thanks for the opportunity to respond with a reply.
I did TM in the seventies and i got a lot out of it and i do mean a lot it was the best thing i ever did and i would urge everyone to try it but do not look for results as such just let things happen as they should and you will get the results that you want it is like the answer to a question that is bugging you let it go and the answer will come in its own time
Thanks for the opportunity to reply
I love the I am meditation techniques, but I’d LOVE even more if I could have a guided technique on it’s own (without the discussions that go along with), so that I am more likely to practice everyday
I don’t understand. if there is no goal and the essence of meditation is not-doing, how can there be a problem?
Hello Steven.
I like to meditate, it makes me feel good in general, at times i feel the body becomes stiff, i dont want to move, i can feel something moving up and down my body, there are thoughts, at times i am able to see them, at times i start participating with the thoughts but still the body is kind of stiff. I feel i am always looking for a bigger experience, always waiting that something is there that i am meant to know, learn but its not coming.
Thank,Thank , Thank
My biggest problem with meditation is that the philosophical underpinnings of most of the techniques I have tried strike me as wildly implausible. Meditation techniques come from various religious traditions and are offered as ways of validating the philosophical world views of their respective ttraditions. When you do Buddhist derived meditations you are supposed to realize certain truths. I do the meditations, but the truths i’m supposed to realize still seem implausible. Same for Hindu derived meditations. I don’t even bother with techniques from Western monotheistic religions, I find their world views so implausible. So, I’m left with doing practices that I find interesting and of some value without having any deeply satisfying understanding of and commitment to the ground and raisin d’être for the practice. It also makes it difficult to relate to groups of practitioners who seem to me to be too ready to acquiesce in unjustified beliefs that are foisted upon them.
Agreed, Fred. The underlying mythology of meditative practices is RARELY talked about, or it’s minimized inappropriately. And that’s not even bringing up the mythology that *is* talked about, namely, that if you do the practice, at some point, you will have an instant and permanent shift in perception that results in the elimination of suffering.